Podcast #12 Stop Hiding and Show Up Like a Disruptor

Are you ready to stop hiding and show up like a disruptor?

Tamrah Barber & Company LLC is the creator and author of the XTL360 Teen Leadership Development Program, and is going to teach you how to do just that!

We are going to talk about Tamrah's disruption in life, how it impacted her, and how she thought she was content before it came.

Tamrah now works with teens and teams, helping them realize the nuances that are in their way. Because of her work, she his helping people all across our country know themselves better, become better people, and presenters. Helping them convey the message they are meaning to.

By doing this, she sees them open up to what is possible in their lives, and seeing possibilities they never saw before.

Helping teams with their messaging and strategy that they present, has pivoted into a remote role. She helps her online presenters show up powerful and organized with a clear and polished message.

We discuss the presence you have to convey being online, even over the phone. If you have Zoom meetings, work phone calls, you are going to benefit from this section, I promise!

This knowledge can completely transform into the entrepreneurial space as well. Whether you are pitching an idea or selling something, it’s important to know what kind of message you are conveying. These skills can be used in client meetings, team meetings, relationship interactions, an interview, a podcast, and so much more!

Get read to gain knowledge, feel inspired, and be ready to get out of your comfort zone after listening to this episode!  

                           5 Rapid Fire Questions for Tamrah:

1. What is your mantra? - Be bold, free and powerful
2. What three words would you use to describe yourself or your brand? - Authenticity, Power, Presence
3. What is your least favorite mode of communication? - Talking on the phone, because I’m on the phone ALL day!
4. What outfit makes you feel like a badass? - A beautiful white suit double-breasted with a tie, to accentuate my waist. Silver shoes with silver accessories to go with it.
5. What are your brand colors and why did you choose those? - Lilac purple and teal. There are 3 different shades of each of those that I use for the Extraordinary Presenter. I love purple because it represents royalty and I have a lot of purple stones. Teal for me represents the ocean. That is my happy place!

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• Episode #11: Communication Is Not About You

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*Note- The Brand Disruptors Podcast is produced for the ear and made to be heard not read. We strongly encourage you to listen to the audio which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers and may contain errors. Please check the corresponding audio before quoting it in print.

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, and welcome to brand disruptors. I am Mila mantra host for this podcast. And today I have with me one of my best friends in the whole wide world. Ms. Tamarah barber, how are you today? Love

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I am doing magnificent. My friend magnificent my soul sister. Yes, I am so happy to see you. You too.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
I know I was looking up some stuff or to do for the weekend and I looked at our, our spot that we go to for our relaxation. I was like, you know what? We are way overdue

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Way overdue when I tell y'all what it is later right now. Right. I've been thinking about it. I I've told my kids about it. I was like, guys. Cause they were trying to figure out what to get me for. Mother's day. That was number one on the list.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Yeah. It's the best gift in the world. I absolutely, absolutely. All right. So we're going to get started, right? I have like these, these five rapid fire questions that I asked my guests, just so we can get to know you guys a little bit better and then you, and I'll just kind of jump into a little discussion about what you do and how you show up in the world.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
All right. So my first question to you is what is your mantra?

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Ooh, my mantra, you know, it's funny, you asked that because from time to time, I hear like songs on the radio and you know, the, the vamp line is that becomes my mantra. And to be honest, I haven't listened to the radio lately. But the one thing that, that always I pull out the back of my pocket is an affirmation that I use. And it is in bold, free and powerful. And so ever I am in one of those places where I feel anything, but that, that's what I pull out.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
Oh, I love that. I love that. And you are bold, free and powerful,

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Right too. You know, you put your arms on your hips and you'd be like, look in the mirror. Yeah. Pose. Yes, honey

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Presence is the name of the book she talks about it. It actually changes your physiology.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yes. I told you how my friend was smart. What three words would you use to best describe you or your brand? Hmm. Cause I know you have a couple of brands, but I know that you're weave throughout them all. Yeah. I would say authenticity, this particular brand power would be another one and presence love it. We're in presence. Right? What is least favorite mode of communication? You know, this is, that's an interesting question, especially since given what you do. Right. You know, I work from home and I'm on the phone all the time. So I would say, I would say probably talking on the phone is my favorite, you know, mode of communication. But then when, when you're texting and you know, you got a lot to say, then that becomes my least favorite mode of communication because it's just too much. My fingers start hurting.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
I think texting is for the younger generations, like pick up the phone and call me unless it's like a one liner that this, this is my favorite. Like to be able to FaceTime or zoom someone that is probably my favorite mode of communication. And when texting becomes too long, another one, I like, if you know, I'm not just, you know, from not in a, in a way, looking in a way that has my face all over the place, you know, then voice, voice is always good to like that little voice, text, voice, text is awesome because you don't lose, you don't lose the meaning behind what you're doing when you text. Yeah, absolutely. And you, people can't misconstrue what it is that you're saying at all. Cause it'd be even comes through. Yeah. I totally agree. I know your husband styles you sometimes. Right. But I want to know what outfit makes you feel like a badass, you know, I love the color of white.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Okay. And cause I love silver. And so that silver and white combination, you know, a white in my mind and I want to, I want to, I want to actually want to get a seamstress to like create this outfit for me because it's been in my mind for years first to make it for you. I got the person. So tell us, tell us all about it. Yeah. So it is, you know, I love like a beautiful white suit, right? Double breasted with the, with the tie. Okay. Because you know, I need to like accentuate my waist cause you know, so, you know, even though I'm going to fix, I still do have that hourglass. And so to pull that waste in that is always a good look. And then, you know, a nice jacket, nice Lin size jacket. And the pants in my mind go from skinny to, you know, pedal pusher style to flare leg, depending on what the style is, you know? And okay. I don't even know what's in right now, but the leg of the pant changes with what's in and what's out style. I might, I Might need to have like a couple of pair pants and then a skirt is always clutch. Cause I got decent legs. And so yeah, I could definitely do a skirt too, but I do like the comfort of pants

Speaker 1 (06:07):
And then you'll do a, a silver shoe with it and silver accessories

Speaker 2 (06:12):
Knowing me, cause I have like this pop of color. Right. And some of my classes, you know, I love like pops of color, probably do that white with maybe like a yellow color, you know, just something I would, I would pop pops.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
I love yellow too. It's just such a happy color. Right. It's just so cheerful and like, is it reminds me of sunshine? I just like, I love it.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah. I love it. I love, I love sun. What's something that you wouldn't ever wear. That's an interesting question. I would never wear, you know what? I don't like, I don't like those aid line dresses. I would never wear an eight line dress. Cause I mean, you know that it just does not, my mind is like pencil, skirt, like not a line, like I need a, I need a pencil skirt or something that is, you know, long and flowy, but like it's got to come in at the waist. But that, that, yeah, that just does not look good on me at all. So I,

Speaker 1 (07:18):
Yeah, because you don't have a triangle, you don't have the inverted triangle.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah. So that is not gonna work.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
No ALA dresses for Tamra. If you're going to be buying her any gifts, just, just contribute to the white suit. Right?

Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah. Suits always. I love jackets, so yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah. Jackets are amazing. I mean they actually complete outfits. Right. They make you look finished and, and, and you know, for people who run hot like myself, like you can take them on and off. Right. You can have your sleeveless on and then you can put the jacket on and then take it off.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah. And I'm the opposite. I mean, I haven't hit that. I haven't since that point. And if I do have those, you know, flashes, I think they at night. So then in the daytime, I'm pretty safe, but I normally run cold. Always having a jacket nearby is, is definitely clutch.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Alright. And then finally tell me what your, what are your brand colors and why did you choose?

Speaker 2 (08:17):
So my, so I've got a couple, right? So for the extraordinary presenter, my colors are purple two lilac and teal beautiful. And that combination and array, there's like three colors, three shades in each of those that I use for the extraordinary presenter. And I just, I love the way those colors go together. They mean something to me purple, my favorite color. And it's kind of funny. A friend of mine has a daughter. There's a funny story. Interesting story. A friend of mine has a daughter and she, she looked at me and he asked her to read my aura and she looked at me and she's just looked at me really strangely. And then she's finally said, your aura is purple. And I knew, I knew purple has been my color like forever. And I knew that she was going to say that even if you look around my office, they're like touches of purple everywhere.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
And I knew that she was going to say that, so purple means something to me. I think it for me, it's royalty purple stones and yeah, so I've got a lot of purple stones. And then the teal means something to me because I love the ocean. Like that is my happy place. So I've got like amethyst, so stones and then ocean. And that's how those two colors came together and they just look really amazing together. They do. Now that's for the extraordinary presenter for extreme teen leaders. I have a whole different color scheme and that colors game when I, when I think about the extreme team leader, which is like this, you know, elite student leader who is diverse, who is all of the core values that we hold, you know, disciplined and integrity, responsible enrolling or influential yeah. Committed and team player, like all of those things, you know, it made me think of like Ivy league school. Ooh. Yeah. And so I looked at like the brand. Yeah. Like the colors of like Harvard, which is that deep maroon. Right. And then, you know, like Penn state and, you know Princeton like those, those blues. And so I pulled those two colors together, Oregon D and the blue, which blends really nicely. And then for that pop of color, I put like this it's like a deep golden orange.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
It's like, I think they call it a collegiate college, orange or colored college, yellow or something like that. And that is like the pop of color. And this is, this is the color like, so it's about that color. This is actually the brand. So you can see like that color. And so that is how I pulled together that, that color scheme. And it sounds like you have the purple element in both of them. Right. Because even with the deep burgundy, it still can be in that violet family. Yeah. So, yeah. So, and you probably did this stuff like inherently, like you, like, this is what I, this is what I'm feeling. This is what I want to know. But a lot of people don't understand

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Like the psychology of color and how you just talked about, like, these are the reasons why I chose these and you know, the Royal, the purple, the, the, the eliteness of those Ivy league schools. So it's super important for you to kind of get some background about color psychology before you do your branding, right?

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, absolutely. There's a lot of research that goes out and just like randomly pick those colors. Those are the colors that I liked. And then I went out and I did some research on the colors and the different arrays that you can combine and mix together with them. And that's how I landed on what I landed on. And then I also, even with the extreme team leaders, I have like a gray, right. Like a cobalt gray. So even that silver theme that I love, you know, I even incorporated that in there as well.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
Yeah. So we inherently like, what's good for us,

Speaker 2 (12:50):
Right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
All right. Now let's get to some fun stuff. Right. I want to hear all about a time or like maybe one of the major ways that you ha you either disrupted your own life or you had a disruption that changed everything for you.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
Oh, I got both of those. Yeah. So the first disruption came when I I was working for ACS at the time and I hired a developer, right. To come in and do some coding for us.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Tamra is tech savvy people. She can, she can code with the best of them and that's not even her job, but okay. Keep going.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
Oh, I'm not coding. I can manage a coding team. And I know technology and system design, but definitely do not want to code. That's a whole nother area. And I hired this developer and he invited me to do this training and it was training. It was I'll call it, I'll call it human potential self development, professional development, training, personal development, along those lines, what you see in like a Tony Robbins or like [inaudible] type. And I did this training and it took six years. Like he came in, he totally disrupted my life, wanted me to come at the time. I was like, you know, I was going to church. I'm like, dude, I have everything I need. I need to do that. That's not for me. And six years later, he was like, we were talking about going into business together. And he was like, listen, either you do this training or we can go into business together.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
That was a disruption. Wow. And this was a good friend of mine. And we had been planning to go into business all along the way. And he kept dropping these little seeds along the way, like, okay, I'm gonna need you to do this training Tamra, like for us to be on the same level and the same wavelength, like, I need you to do this. And it just got to a point where I just kept putting it off and putting off, putting off. And he was just like, listen, if you don't do this, then we just, we can't, we can't move further. And that totally disrupted my entire life. I ended up caving in, I did the training, they won when I got in there. I was like, Oh my gosh, what in the world? Like, where has this been? All my life. And then I kicked myself cause I couldn't believe I waited six years to be a yes.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
And during all that process, I'm sitting here thinking, okay, how can I create a leadership program for teens? That's going to be powerful. So I was like, dibbling and dabbling here and there, you know, playing small, you know, creating these little programs here and there, you know, doing a little, little impact, you know, and I did that training and it opened up so much for me. And after that, I got so clear on my vision. So clear on what I wanted to create for teams. And I created it. And that, that was another disruption. Cause it totally changed my life. You know, I was in corporate America, thought like that was how I was going to coast on out. You know,

Speaker 1 (16:09):
That was the Holy grail. Right. You made it, you got to the corporate job making, making the money, doing the thing. And you were just like,

Speaker 2 (16:20):
I was on cruise. I had reached to the point in my career where I was totally content. And I was like, okay, I can do this. Like I didn't want to do anything else. And I really enjoy this. It I've learned it. It gives me the free time to live the four hour workweek. And I was like, I could do, you know, fun things with the rest of my time that happened and totally changed my life. And now my whole world is consumed with empowering young leaders and giving them the skills that I've learned on my corporate journey, you know, with presenting and coaching executives. I get to bring all of that along with the transformational work that we've done and bring that to teams as well. And now I'm a disruption in their lives. I've titled myself in that, that brand. I call myself the teen interventionists.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Right. And so that is like in alignment with disruption because I come in and I am an interruption in their life and you know what they're being right now and, and having them open up to what's possible and what they could do with their lives. And that's what I do. And even on the presentation side, you know, I'm a disruption to presenters who think that they have it all together. Don't realize the little nuances that are in the way. And I point them out and I'm an eruption. And because of it, they come out better.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
Absolutely. Absolutely. So y'all went when I'm talking to Tamra or when I know CHAM was going to be online. I like, I step up my game just a bit because I'm like, okay, you're free to give me critiques, but I don't want any play, but for real, like you really do have to be open and willing for people to give you some feedback in order to get better. So I'm glad you talked about that. Right?

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Well, listen, I step up my game too. Every time I'm like, okay, I'm going to me is I'm going to be around me. I was like, am I wearing like put together, not looking at me like what you got on,

Speaker 1 (18:19):
But that's the kind of friends that you want. Right. I mean, we can totally be ourselves together, but we also have each other being a way that we want to step up our game every time we're with each other. And we're also steppers in partnership. Right. Cause we'll be like, Oh, did you do this? Did you do this? Did you take this class? Are you going to do this? And we just like, yeah, let's go for it. You're like, we don't just relax together. We learn together too

Speaker 2 (18:49):
As always the next level. And we keep each other's feet to the fire. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
Alright. So I want to hear about, I want you to tell the audience about what you do in your corporate job. We're going to talk about the teen stuff, because I know that there's some listeners out there who have teenagers that need intervention, but I want to hear about what you do on a day to day basis and what your coaching, your coaching is about for adults.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah. Yeah. So I have a unique job and I've grown into it. And I would say that I created this space for myself. I did, when I really think back I entered

Speaker 2 (19:32):
The corporate scene as a, as a technologist per se, right. As a PR as a technical project manager. And I, I worked deals around software development and then I eventually ended up getting into proposal development. And so when the state or city, or it could be even a commercial entity like who knows like Nike or something, you know, issues and RFP as a corporate entity, we will pull together a team to respond to that RFP. And I would manage that entire process from start to finish from finding, finding the deals with our sales leads and supporting them into developing our business strategy and how we're going to approach it to developing the proposal response from the technical response to the operational response. And then once we've submit, once we've completed that, that bid and we've submitted it, then the customer will downsize will down select rather down select a number of corporations that the proposal was, you know, to their liking, whatever.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
And once they've down selected the group of people that they want to hear from, they then have to prepare a presentation to get in front of the client. And now, now we're going to talk through our solution and share with them like why our solution is the best solution for them. And so what I ended up doing was, was excelling in that area and that space to get degree that my company asked me to do that. That's it like, we don't even want you to manage the deal anymore. We just want you to coach the teams. And matter of fact, we want you to coach all of our teams in the corporation. And so now on the commercial side and the public sector, you know, what I do for teams is I level up their game because you know, we've got sales leaders out there.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
We've got technologists that are skilled at presenting, but there's always a next level for them really helping them to shape their messaging and strategy so that it's communicating the messages that they want to deliver and leave with the customer. Anything else about what I'm saying? Cause they normally won't hear all the words that you're saying, but those key points, like what do you really want them to remember? So I help teams really get laser focused on that messaging and help them to thread it throughout their proposal throughout their, their presentation. And you know, now with this new world, we're in with coronavirus, all of these used to be done in person. So I used to fly all over the place, you know, working with these teams to prepare cause there's a, there's a very, there's a five step process that I take people through to get them from, you know, invitation to come and present to.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Okay, we presented now we're done. And in that process, then I walked them through there's a lot that happens and you know, it used to be done in person, but now it is remote. And so that brings a whole new set of challenges and ways to communicate. And so now I'm teaching these corporate teams how to deliver those presentations online. Some of them are done in video. Some of them are done just voice where you don't have your video up. You're just presenting from a slide deck. And it's been pretty interesting. The, the distractions that can come up and so really helping them navigate through that process. So that at the end, the end, after we've rehearsed and done our dry runs, they show up organized, you know, powerful, their messaging is clear and they're polished. And so that's what I do right now.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yeah. And I can see how that can totally translate for an entrepreneur too. Right. If they're going to be going to pitch an idea to someone that they want to support with funding or even with, so when you're trying to sell something, you're trying to sell your services or your product, you still have to convey a certain kind of message. Right?

Speaker 2 (23:53):
Yeah. And that's true. And it's funny because you say that because even the teams that I coach, the one thing that I hear all the time, I was like, Oh my God, these are such great skills. Like I can use this across the board. They use the skills that I teach them. They use in their client meetings. They use in their team meetings. They use in any relationship interaction that they have. And for entrepreneurs, you're always on, you're always on when you're on a podcast, when you are, you know, on a video interview, when you are setting a meeting up to gain funding for your product, like it's the same process. It does not. It doesn't, it's no different. And so I've, I've opened up my services beyond corporate. And this is really the first time that I've done this, you know, over the years, I've really just focused on, on providing these services internally to my corporation.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
But I started, I started sharing some of these skills with our teens and our, and our teen life mastery program, which is the last of our leadership program, last module of our leadership program, where they're really beginning to Polish and learning how to tell their story, tell their life story in a powerful way and makes a difference. And I saw the impact that it had there. And I was like, you know what, I should probably open this up to some more people. And then when I participated on the event that you guys had, I don't remember the name of the event,

Speaker 1 (25:17):
The T L a 2020 vision reboot

Speaker 2 (25:21):
Only 20 days and reboot. When I participated in that, it really opened something up for me and like, wow, like I could really support the entrepreneurs. And especially in this environment with everyone, you know, working from home, getting comfortable with working from home and now wanting to show up in a different way. I definitely look forward to working with lots of people and polishing off and establishing their presence.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
Yeah. Because I think that a lot of folks feel like, you know, Oh, I can dial it in. Right. And this brings because people can't really feel your energy in person. You have to bring even more to zoom because I don't know about you, but you know, when I'm on zoom all day long, which is typically my day, right. I think you and I have both been doing zoom before. COVID right. I've been doing zoom for years now. And the fact is that this is probably more draining than being in person because there's the barrier, you know, that you're not with these people in person. And then it's just a different level of, of presence that you do have to worry.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
Absolutely. And I was, I was telling the team that presented yesterday, I coached them all this week and they presented yesterday. And one thing I kept telling them is like, even though they see you, you need to present, like they're standing right in front of you and you need to smile when you're talking, you know, even over the phone, people can feel your smile, right. So there are things that you, you, you want to do to presence yourself with them on the other side of this technology. Absolutely. Absolutely. Even like looking in the camera like right now, you know, I'm looking in the camera as if I'm talking to someone standing right in front of me and you want to do that as opposed to just kind of like, you know, talking and looking down and you know, not really paying attention to like the camera, you know, it makes a big difference because when you're presenting online with zoom, you're really talking to one person. You know, even if there are 200 people on the phone, you are interacting with one person, that's the one person on the other side of their camera.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Yeah. Tamra just gave you all a huge nugget. I hope you all got it. Like you have to look in the camera. If you're on your phone, on your computer, look into the camera, into that small hole. And that's when you have the eye contact with the people that you're actually talking to. One of the things that drives me nuts, there's this coach that I follow and her eyes move the entire time that she's on there. And she's hardly ever looking into camera. And it's hard for me to even listen to her because of that. Like, it's, it's better for me not to even watch the video and just listen to what she's saying, because she has some really good stuff to say. It's just that, because I know this and you know, this, like, it's really hard to even keep up. And I think that that's true for most of us.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yep. Yeah. And that's true. You just, you, you stop looking because it's a distraction. If you really are interested in the content, then you just stop looking and you stop looking and you don't want to be disconnected in that way when you're talking to people. So you really do need to keep your eyes on the camera, you know, make sure you put it in a zoom view. And even with your phone, right. When you turn it this way, it's, it's, you have a better chance of like looking in the camera. Right. But when you have it this way, it looks like you're looking sideways like that at the camera hole. And you're really not looking at the person, you know, because you're looking at the person on your screen, which is right or left of your camera. And so it looks weird, you know, which is why when we started out, I was on my cell phone. I was like, no, I've got to switch this up. Cause now at that, won't be able to you.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
Absolutely. And I think that's probably why sometimes, you know, when we take selfies in, in that mode, we're not even looking at the camera. Like I'm looking at myself in the camera and say through the camera, you can always tell when somebody has, when they don't know. Right. It's probably more our generation than, than the younger generation, but still,

Speaker 2 (29:42):
I want to go back to at least one of your disruptions and ask you, like, what did, what did that experience teach you about yourself? And what did it teach you about the world around you? Yeah. That's an interesting question. The disruption that comes to mind when you asked me that is deciding to create this leadership program. It taught me a lot about myself. Initially when I started, I wanted to not be in the spotlight, you know, as a coach, I'm always coaching from the background, right? So I'm never the one in the spotlight very few times, did I actually have to step in and present. And so being in the background was very comfortable for me. And what I found out about myself was that I was hiding, hiding, hiding like a motherboard.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
I was hiding and I didn't want to be, I was nervous about being front of the front of the computer. I was afraid of what I would look like, like all of these things happened. And the one thing how I, how I resolve that, and this is another golden nugget for you guys is I started live streaming every day. I joined the fear and she did it anyway. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I, at least once or twice a day I was live streaming. I joined I joined a live stream community. It was a, it was an international livestream community with speakers and givers and professionals from all over the world. And I started presenting with them and it was, it was like a pass the mic type of deal, where she would generate all these topics for the week and they would be done twice a day.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
And then you could choose the topics that you wanted to present on. And then I would always join it and put my own spin on it. I was really focused on teens at the time. So I would take her title and I would, you know, trans transform it into something relevant for parents, with teens or teens. And I was doing that every day. And I got so comfortable, you know, after a while after I learned, even from the presenters that were presenting with me, cause there would be like a line of about eight presenters and I would watch them and then I would get on and I would do my thing. And after a while I just got so comfortable with being in front of the camera that translated in front of the room. So when I started training, I felt comfortable being out front.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
And so whatever that fear is of speaking of being on the camera, I would say do it. I did it on Periscope for like a year. And that ended up being like two to three years. And Periscope really helped a lot with getting on the camera. So I would say get on a live environment like Periscope is a great place to just get online if you want to just be away from like your Facebook. And then when you get more comfortable, do Facebook lives go on Instagram lives and start sharing some content, you know, find out, you know, a great way to deliver your message, like, you know, introducing yourself and then having your three to five points that you want to share. And then, you know, at the end, wrap it up, you know, hit those points again. Give them the call of action that you want them to take. And then, you know, address your replay, viewers and boom. You've got, you've got like content ready, you know,

Speaker 1 (33:11):
And a flow Tamra just told y'all how to go do your first lie. Like she just taught you that right here on the spot. So go do it because you do get, it does get easier. Like the more you get on camera, the more you do the lives, the easier it gets. And also I found for myself, it also gets you, you get to know yourself a lot better too. Right? You get to know yourself a lot better and I'm telling you like, that's the best that self discovery is really one of the best gifts that you can give to yourself.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah. And I'll tell you, when I first started out, it took me like a long time to get my points together and what I was going to say. And within the first year after doing it consistently daily, if you tell me that I'm a, I need to do a livestream in 20 minutes, I can create something in five minutes and be done and stellar and bring it and boom, you know, so once you, once you've done it over time, it gets so much easier. So you're so right. You know, it gets so much easier, but you gotta be consistent with it and you gotta be willing to take the journey. You know, you gotta and get better and better and better.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Yeah. I mean, you're, you're gonna, you're not going to do well on the first one. Just face it. Like maybe even the first hundred, won't be that great. But if you keep on doing it, it will get better. And nobody's perfect. So stop looking for perfection. Cause it does not exist. It's an illusion.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
No, it's true.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Oh, good stuff. Good stuff. All right. So tell me, tell me what makes, how you approach coaching adults, coaching teens. Like what makes the way you do it different? Well, I would say because it's me. Absolutely. And,

Speaker 2 (35:00):
And my approach is unique and that's it? This is, that is a golden nugget in there for everybody. So many people look at other people, wishing that, you know, they could be that person or be like that person. And I would just say, stop, please stop. Right. You are unique. And what you have to bring is unique and how you say it and how you, you know, dive in there and jump in there is going to be totally different than anyone else, period. So focus on what is comfortable for you and how you want to show up. That's what I'd say to that. And I think my approach is to always look, always look, to give back in some way, when people are with me, I want them to leave better than they came. When I work with people, you know, I'm very intuitive.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
And so I get a lot of information about a person in an interaction that they don't necessarily say, and I'm able to use that information to Uplevel them and being a skilled coach, a certified coach at that, I think gives me a definite edge because I understand how to use the tool of coaching and the profession of coaching to empower people and have them show up and have breakthroughs and insights to really shift the trajectory of their lives. And yeah, I think, and it's hard to explain like what that is, but it is a skill that I've gained over time that you, that you gain on the journey to becoming a coach. And like you said, you know, doing your own work. Oh, absolutely. Doing your own work will, will definitely show up in how you are with people. Cause I will say this one of my big, one of the big things that I always hold close is if I'm going to challenge people to take themselves to the next level, I get to be taking myself to the next level, 24 seven,

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Probably all the time, all the time. Right. I love that. You said that, I love that. You said that because I also want to talk about coaching. Like we, we both are certified coaches, right? And there, there are a lot of people out there who call themselves coaches, but they're not certified and they haven't had the training and the experience and the knowledge like, can you speak into why you think it's important? Because obviously you did because you went to get a certification. So why do you think it's important for people to look for certified coaches?

Speaker 2 (37:52):
Yeah. there's an art to coaching and there's a distinction between coaching, mentoring, consulting therapy. There are so many different modalities and, and being clear on the purpose of coaching is what you learn going through those certification programs and you practice it and you get it in your bones. And so when you're with people, you know how to pull yourself back because it was really challenging for me as an intuitive, because when I, when I start talking to people like I'm getting information and it's the answer. Like I get the answers to the questions that I want to ask just by talking to them. And the challenge for me is always to not give them the answer and two things, if you haven't done your work, you're going to be tempted to give them the answer to flex your own knowledge. So you can look good in front of them. Right. And, you know, keep your elevation over them as guru. Right. You'll fall into that trap if you don't, if you're not careful and if you're not skilled, and then when you're coaching, you, you get to approach it as, as being in discovery with them. Like you don't know more than they do about themselves. Right. You just don't, they have the answers, you have no answers. Right. And you've got to step into the engagement in that way because our job as a coach is to ask powerful questions. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
Yeah. And just for the listeners and for any of my clients that are out there, they already know I do more consulting than coaching. Sometimes they need to be told or they ask for the next answer

Speaker 2 (39:49):
To you for consultation. Yeah. Right. But, and you can coach them absolutely. Along the way. I think having those skill sets and whatever your profession coaching skills are priceless. Absolutely. Absolutely. But our job as a coach is to ask powerful questions so that they can discover the answer kind of reminds me like when I was young, my mom would like use a word or I'd see a word. I was like, what does that mean? And she'd be like, go look it up. You know, you want to know what it means, go look it up. She would never tell me what the definition was. She would have me go and discover it for myself. And so coaching resembles that. Right. I don't have the answers. And if I do have the answer, me telling you the answer is not going to help you, but me asking powerful questions so that you can discover your answer or even, you know, not even land on an answer, just be in the question to see what comes up and what the possibilities are that are open to you. In that question, I think is really powerful.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Yeah. Being in the question is, is uncomfortable for a lot of people. Like it was uncomfortable for me to like, I am one of those people, like I want to make a decision. I want to get it done and let's just do this. But there are times when that just doesn't work and it's, it's a, it's complicated or it's too important to not be in the question. And I'm going to talk about one of our mentors right now, Betty Spruill, how she, she presents for, for, I think for both of us, how sometimes you just got to get still. And sometimes you just have to be in the question and don't have to know all of the answers and just be in discovery with yourself and with the people around you, instead of trying to figure it out and have all the answers like that woman is so wise. And just thinking about being in the question of something can, can open up a bunch of stuff for you, right?

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Absolutely. It opens up possibilities. And, and when you're in the question collectively with other people that are like-minded and that are in the question with you, I think together you come up with more, more possible answers than you would have imagined if it was just you by yourself.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Yes. And we see that going on in the world right now. We see it happening right now because we're going, we're, we're making some changes people. And if you're not onboard, you're going to get left behind. So in effect right now, they are, they are, and I am here for all of it. Like we're truly about to transform the world. Like people keep talking about getting back to normal. I'm like, no, we're about to create now is what I want because I'm seeing where the injustices are being answered for. I'm seeing where people are starting to take responsibility for the things that, that they were unconscious too. Right. And I think that that's one of the greatest gifts that we can give to ourselves and to the planet.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
Absolutely. It's, it's an exciting time. It can be stressful, right? It can, you know, trigger some anxiety. But I think what you said earlier, if you, if you just be still for a moment and see the silver lining in everything that's happening right now with COVID, I've gotten so much done. I've gotten so much done. I've had time to really sit in my chair, be still and just think, and just, you know, ponder, it's a lost art form, I think. Right. To think that, to think and ponder like, love it more that I was moving so fast. We were moving so fast as a country. And as, as a, as a human race, just so fast, and this really has halted us at a complete stop. Right. Complete stance. I've never seen anything like this happen in our world before. Not in my life.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah.

New Speaker (44:08):
. Right, right. And the earth is happy about it too.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
Absolutely. That's what double rainbow yesterday.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
Oh, we should probably be seeing double rainbows all the time, you know, but with all of the pollution, we couldn't, we couldn't see the rainbow.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
It's just really a silver lining in it all. And I hope that all of the disruptors out there are strategizing right now are taking action right now to set themselves up in this new paradigm that we're moving into. And you know, like I said, presenting, making sure that you are showing up powerfully your presence, your image, your branding is on point like now is the time to, to tighten that up because it's time to go.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
It's go time. It is go time. So Tamra, I'm glad you talked about all of that. Cause what, besides being in the freedom lounge, which is my membership site, how can people get to work with you?

Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah. They can reach out to me directly. I've got a website that I put up a www dot Tamra, barbara.com. You can reach me on Instagram at I just created a new Instagram for this new service. The extraordinary presenter. Yes, girl. But like I said, I've pulled back and I'm in the process of developing the content for that gram platform. And then, like I said, just reach out to me via info at Tamra, barber.com and shoot me an email. If you want to work with me, I'll be posting some stuff very, very soon on Facebook as well. I've got the extraordinary presenter set up on Facebook and there'll be some links to schedule with me. And yeah, your people can reach out to you and you not reached me. Absolutely. Absolutely. By the, my number and call me. I'm very selective. I don't work with everyone. So

Speaker 1 (46:10):
Yeah, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not fabulous and you're not open minded and you're not ready to go for it don't even waste her time. Like,

Speaker 2 (46:19):
I'll just say thank you. But no, thank you. I'm full, like, yes. I'd love to work with you. I'll create some time for you. Let's go.

Speaker 1 (46:30):
Yes. I love it. I love it. Okay. So is there anything else that you want the audience to know about you, about your programs, about

Speaker 2 (46:42):
Anything under the sun? Yeah. We talked about, I've got multiple brands. So with extraordinary presenter, I've already given you that info, but changing leaders, if you are a business professional and you are looking for a way to give back to our young people, please go to my website, www.extremeteenleaders.com and make a donation. If you want to provide and give your services to young people and teach them these golden nuggets that you've learned, because I have a lot of incredible student leaders that want to go into the very same professions that you're in. And if you feel like you could take an hour of your time to and share with them, your knowledge and your expertise and the wisdom that you've gained to give them some guidance into how to become the person that you are in that position, you know, come and share with them. Mia came on and she shared with them on branding. And we had several of them take on her challenge and they got a one on one with her as well, which was a lot of fun and

Speaker 1 (47:50):
It was so much fun and I'm still connected to them. They, they like that. They're helping me increase my game on social media. So

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Yeah, cause they listen, they know how to use these tools in a big way. They do online training. I did, I had one of our teams, she was running the whole deck for me. She did everything on zoom for me. Oh wow. So you had to assistant 15 years old. So these young people are ready. They're ready to get out here and brand themselves. So again, you know, make yourself available and share with our young people. And I'm going to put up today on my extreme teen leaders, Facebook page, how you can schedule and become a guest on our extreme mastermind for teens.

Speaker 1 (48:35):
Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So all of this will be in the show notes. So make sure that you reach out to Tamra either to work with her personally, or to be a contribution to extreme team leaders. It is an amazing program. We know that these children are the future of the world and having her poor. What she has learned into them is, is it's a phenomenal thing to watch. So I appreciate the fact that I know somebody like that and the fact that she's one of my best friends in the whole wide world. So for that. Alright, so again, you can reach out to her on Instagram, Facebook via the web, love the web and that's it for today guys. So thanks for coming and thanks Tamar for being here. My pleasure anytime. I love you too. All right. Have a great one. Bye bye.